Holiday writing snippet.

Holiday writing - Show not tell.

Writing  Learning outcome.

To rewrite a piece of my recount [Holiday writing] with show sentences and
not tell sentences.

Draft

After we went to the river we went to Shipwreck bay it was so fun I saw a
snapper

in the waves, I went into the ocean it was so cold I felt like a frozen ice block
that

was in the freezer for 80 years, the waves were smashing and crashing and

raging like a wild bull.

Show writing - piece.

I went into the ocean it was so cold as ice I felt like a frozen ice block that
was in the freezer for 80 years, the waves were smashing and crashing
and raging like a wild bull.